Incongruence refers to a state of discrepancy between an individual's self-concept (how they perceive themselves) and their actual experiences. It occurs when there is a mismatch between one's ideal self (who they would like to be) and their real self (who they actually are).
Related terms
Self-concept: The collection of beliefs, perceptions, thoughts, and feelings an individual has about themselves.
Ideal self: The image or vision of oneself that represents who an individual wants to become or what they aspire to be.
Real self: The actual characteristics, traits, and behaviors that an individual possesses.