4.2 Interpersonal Communication Theories

Interpersonal communication theories explain how we build and maintain relationships. They cover everything from how we open up to others to how we handle conflicts and adjust our communication style.

These theories shed light on why we act the way we do in relationships. They explore concepts like self-disclosure, uncertainty reduction, and the push-pull between closeness and independence that shape our interactions with others.

Theories of Relationship Development

Social Penetration Theory

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• Developed by Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor in 1973
• Describes the process of relationship development as a gradual, orderly process that moves from superficial to intimate levels of exchange
• Uses the analogy of an onion to describe how people gradually reveal layers of personal information as a relationship develops
• Posits that self-disclosure is the primary way that superficial relationships progress to more intimate ones
• Breadth of self-disclosure refers to the range of topics discussed (hobbies, family, work)
• Depth of self-disclosure refers to the degree of personal information shared about each topic (sharing deep fears or insecurities)
• Reciprocity of self-disclosure is important people tend to match each other's disclosures in amount and degree of intimacy

Uncertainty Reduction Theory

• Developed by Charles Berger and Richard Calabrese in 1975
• Suggests that people communicate to reduce uncertainty about others
• Asserts that reducing uncertainty is a central goal in initial interactions because it allows people to predict others' behavior and guide their own actions
• Identifies three types of uncertainty:
  • Cognitive uncertainty refers to uncertainty about others' beliefs and attitudes
  • Behavioral uncertainty refers to uncertainty about how others will act
  • Predictive uncertainty refers to uncertainty about how an interaction will unfold
• People engage in information-seeking behaviors to reduce uncertainty (asking questions, observing behavior, talking to others who know the person)
• As uncertainty decreases, liking tends to increase

Social Exchange Theory

• Rooted in economics and psychology
• Views interpersonal relationships as an exchange process in which people weigh the potential benefits and costs of social relationships
• Suggests that people try to maximize rewards and minimize costs in relationships
• Rewards can be tangible (gifts, favors) or intangible (companionship, support)
• Costs can include time, effort, and emotional energy invested in a relationship
• People are more likely to pursue relationships in which the rewards outweigh the costs
• Comparison level refers to the expectations people have about the balance of rewards and costs a relationship should offer based on past experiences
• Comparison level for alternatives refers to the lowest level of rewards a person will accept given available alternative relationships
• Relationships are more satisfying when rewards outweigh costs, exceed one's comparison level, and are better than other available alternatives

Theories of Relational Dynamics

Expectancy Violations Theory

• Developed by Judee Burgoon in the 1970s
• Proposes that people hold expectations about the nonverbal and verbal behavior of others
• Expectations are based on social norms, past experience, and the nature of the relationship
• Violations of these expectations can be positive (a friend remembering your birthday) or negative (a coworker invading your personal space)
• How a violation is interpreted depends on the violator's perceived reward value
• Positive violations by high-reward violators tend to increase attraction
• Negative violations and violations by low-reward violators tend to decrease attraction
• Violations lead to increased arousal and cognitive appraisal to interpret the meaning of the violation

Relational Dialectics Theory

• Developed by Leslie Baxter and Barbara Montgomery in the 1990s
• Views relationships as a process of ongoing tension between contradictory impulses
• Identifies three main dialectics in relationships:
  • Autonomy-connection refers to the tension between independence and togetherness
  • Openness-closedness refers to the tension between self-disclosure and privacy
  • Novelty-predictability refers to the tension between stability and change
• Suggests that these tensions are normal and unavoidable parts of relationships
• Tensions are managed through communication rather than resolved
• Relational partners can respond to tensions by alternating between poles over time (spending some weekends together and some apart), segmenting their lives (being open at home but closed at work), or reframing the tension (viewing time apart as enhancing togetherness)

Communication Accommodation Theory

• Developed by Howard Giles in the 1970s
• Focuses on the adjustments people make to create, maintain, or decrease social distance in interaction
• Convergence refers to strategies to adapt one's communication behaviors to become more similar to one's interaction partner (matching speech rate, adopting similar slang terms)
• Divergence refers to strategies to accentuate verbal and nonverbal differences between speakers (emphasizing a regional accent, using technical jargon)
• Overaccommodation involves patronizing or demeaning communication that moves beyond convergence (speaking loudly to an older adult, using baby talk with a romantic partner)
• Accommodation is often used to signal liking and build rapport, while nonaccommodation can create distance or indicate dislike
• Perceptions of a speaker's motives for accommodating or not accommodating play a key role in how the behavior is interpreted

Symbolic Interaction Theory

Symbolic Interactionism

• Developed by George Herbert Mead and Charles Cooley in the early 20th century
• Views the self and social reality as constructed through interaction
• Emphasizes the symbolic meaning people develop and rely on in the process of social interaction
• Asserts that people act toward things based on the meaning those things have for them
• These meanings are derived from social interaction and modified through interpretation
• Focuses on the small-scale, face-to-face interactions that make up everyday life
• Assumes that society is created and maintained through repeated interactions among individuals
• Suggests that the self is a social product, developed through interactions with others and shaped by others' perceptions and expectations
• The looking-glass self refers to the idea that people see themselves as they believe others see them
• Role-taking is the process of mentally assuming the perspective of another, which allows for effective communication and coordination of behavior
• Identities are the names we call ourselves and others based on the meanings attached to the self (student, friend, daughter)
• Interaction is guided by the definition of the situation, or how people understand the social context and norms governing behavior in that context